I don’t see how you can be expected to “forget” a miscarriage. Even if it happened at only 8 weeks, there had been a baby inside you. There was hope, and planning, and dreams. We don’t let each other grieve the right way. It’s not “just a miscarriage,” but a baby that has been lost. Whether you know someone for ten years, or it’s a baby that only been inside of you a few weeks, there’s still a relationship that you have made. It’s become part of your life.

All the time, women like me hear that “it’s God’s way” or “it was meant to be.” But those words don’t take way the pain, even if they’re right. If you want to talk about it at all, friends, relatives, they try and change the subject, and you’ll be asked, “Do you want a cup of tea or coffee?’ what I say is, if it was really God’s will then why dose He let me get pregnant so easily?

If a friend of yours died, people wouldn’t say, “oh, it was God’s way,” and if you’re crying over that death, they wouldn’t say, “stop crying.” “I’ve found that the only people who really understand what I’m going through are others who’ve undergone miscarriages; they can share their sense of loss with you.

I was really strong for the first miscarriage. But by this time third one, I’ve just been thrown. How strong can you be? I hold on for my husband’s and my daughter’ sakes. But I cry when I’m alone in the evenings. It’s something I’ll never forget.